We only have so much energy every day. So we need to spend it wisely.
A friend and I were discussing this topic the other night. As women were we taught to be caretakers of everyone but ourselves?
If we were or not, after a while we have to care for ourselves first. And we have to accept one hundred percent responsibility for the energy that comes in and out of our lives.
And every once in a while we might need to feel the sting or the consequence of absorbing other people’s energy. It will serve as a good reminder to get back on track in your own life. To stay focused on what is important to you and to the people who truly matter in your life, the ones who will always have your back. And to stop wasting time and energy on the ones who don’t.
You don’t have to cut these energy vamps out of your life completely but you can slowly back away.
And when you back away you can re-align with your needs.
It’s hard to know when you’re absorbing people’s energy. I mean relationships are all about energy flowing back and forth. So don’t beat yourself up if you suddenly realize that a person you were flowing with doesn’t have the same values as you or doesn’t respect your relationship the same way you would have. It’s going to happen. We were all brought up with different values and experiences. Take the good and leave the rest behind.
Instead of becoming upset that someone you have helped out or been there for has wronged you in some way, share your feelings honestly (and if to do so will not create more drama) and move on. Or don’t. Sometimes saying nothing is the best option. Either way, now you know where not to spend your time and energy. Win!
Ask yourself if you were giving your energy to seek some sort of approval or validation to help you feel better about yourself. If you were now you’ve learned a really valuable lesson, and that is, you do not need anyone else’s approval. You are enough and they are just another human who cannot make you feel anything. Your feeling like enough can only come from within.
If you were actually just being kind and giving your energy freely because that’s what friends do, then way to go! You’re a good person! That’s called integrity. You did the right thing for the right reason. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You may however just want to reevaluate if it’s in your best interest to continue to give to that relationship in that way.
Now, the hard part… try not to judge. We all make mistakes. We are all on our journey. Judging will only add more negative energy to your vibe. And that’s exactly what we are trying to have less of. Lovingly detach, look after yourself. It’s not selfish, it’s self care.
Take this experience and use it to help propel you forward. Losing time in other people’s stuff could just be a distraction that you’re creating so you don’t have to focus on your own life, goals and dreams. Ouch! I know, that’s a tough pill to swallow. But honestly, take that time and energy and put it toward something you’ve always wanted to do.
How do you deal with energy vampires? Have you ever discovered a relationships that did not have mutual values? Did you walk away from (or ghost) that relationship?
Well + Worthy 