Mantras and More :: day 4 :: D BlogWeek

Today(actually yesterday’s) topic for d blog week is Mantras and More.

Today’s task: “share what gets you through a hard day? Or, more specifically, a hard diabetes day? Something positive you tell yourself, or mantras, or what you fall back on to get you through. Maybe we’ve done that and we can help others do it too? (Thanks to Meri of Our Diabetic Life for suggesting this topic.)”


Woo Hoo I love this topic!!! Was super busy yesterday doing a whole bunch of awesome stuff so I am posting this a day late!

About 10 years ago I discovered meditation and found something I had no idea I was looking for! I also got into yoga around the same time.

Diabetes can cause me to be moody biatch sometimes. You know, that moment when you are overcome with emotion and you stop in the middle of it and think, I better test my blood sugar? That’s happened to me before. Sometimes it’s because my blood sugar is high. And sometimes it’s because I’m a human being I guess.

The other day I woke up feeling so irritable that I could barely stand myself. Like I said in my last post, I used to run away from everything. Especially my feelings about being a diabetic and being “different”. My mom was told when I was young that I would have a deep hatred within me for/from the disease. I’m not sure if that is a medical fact but I definitely went in and out of phases in my late teens and early twenties that would support that theory.

When I started practicing yoga and meditation I started to heal that void inside of me. It grounded me and reconnected me to my true self. I started writing gratitude lists regularly and focusing on all the good things and blessings in my life.

I came across this Eleanor Roosevelt quote around the time of my spiritual awakening,
“The future belongs to those who BELIEVE in the BEAUTY of their DREAMS.”
When I meditate I get to stop and think about the things I believe in like happiness, love, hope, acceptance, faith and kindness. I think about the awesome people in my life, the opportunities I have to grow and learn, meet new people, the adventures I get live. And the more I focused on all that juiciness the more I seemed to attract to me. My dreams started to come true!

So the other day when I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I grabbed my iPod and hit play on one of my Oprah and Deepak meditations and slowly but surely I snapped out of it.

Wouldn’t it be awesome to do a DOC group meditation?? All of us from around the globe stopping at the same time to breath and send out good vibes. Maybe we can meditate for the cure?? Maybe the universe will answer our call?? Maybe our biggest dream
Of all could come true too?

Let me know if you’re interested…



What Brings Me Down Day 3 DBlogWeek


The topic for today is What Brings Me Down. May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and how do you cope?

Being a t1D sucks. We all know that. I’ve been living with it for 30 years. I could probably write a list of things that bring me down so long that I’d still be here writing it 30 years from now.

What I didn’t realize until three years ago was how much it hurts to be a person who loves a person with T1D.

It was about this time of year, we had celebrated my nieces first birthday about 4 months earlier and her brother’s third birthday had just passed. I was over at my brother’s hanging out with him and my sweeties, who as of now are the closest things I have to children. My brother says to me, ” I think she has diabetes.” I look at him in disbelief and sluff it off (him and I can be both be a little paranoid about health issues at times). I respond, “Why would you think that?”
“She’s really been going though a lot of diapers.”
“Nah, I don’t think so, you are probably paranoid. Just take her to the doctor and find out for sure.”
The next day at work my cell phone rings and it’s him. Why is he calling me in the middle of the work day? My brother is not a “call and chat” kind of guy.
(I am tearing up as I try to relive this phone call…)
Through tears, he tells me her blood is 18. I try to reason with him. “Maybe she had a big breakfast? Maybe it was a mistake. Check it again.”
I went through so many emotions. I wrote about it last year http://wp.me/p359TO-e

Clearly until three years ago, I only knew and felt that I was the one with the illness. I was the one feeling the lows, getting pricked and poked, being controlled and so on that I never really quite understood until I felt it myself how much it hurt when someone you love so much is diagnosed with this life altering illness. Someone so small and precious. When I think about what brings me down the most about diabetes it’s that she has it. She has to feel all the feelings that we all know so well. Her brother has to wrap his little boy mind around it and her parents haven’t had a full nights sleep in three years. For some reason I can deal with the fact that I have had to live this life but as much as I try to be positive about everything and know that she will be fine too, I still hate (hate is a strong word but hey, if the shoe fits) that anyone especially my niece has to deal with this. Hasn’t my family been through enough with me?

As I write this though, I think of this community and I know that you all feel the same way. There are people in this community who have more than one child with D. Parents who have D and also have children with D. It just doesn’t seem fair! I guess that is the mystery of life. And now that I am super bummed from thinking and writing about this, I have to switch my thinking around. That’s how I cope. I have to find gifts even though it’s not fair. Dealing with life on life’s terms and accepting that this is how it is and that I can either make the best of it or let it swallow me whole.
Why not my family? Why not me? Everyone in this big ol’ world has something to deal with.

And although the cure is not here yet the advances in technology have come a long way and complications in T1Ds are declining. So to cope, I count the days blessings and not the days worries as much as possible. I realize that I have an opportunity to be a role model to my niece. I want her to see that people with D are normal (mostly haha), and can do ANYTHING their hearts desire. I want her to see a healthy diabetic who lives a long amazing life, who is happy and doesn’t let D bring her down. But I also want her to know that it’s ok to not be ok and to be sad sometimes too because that is normal. She inspires me to take the best care of myself as possible.

There are many ways to cope with feeling down, but sometimes the best way is just to feel the feelings and not always try to run away from them. Usually they pass just like dark clouds and the sun always comes out again.


#dBlogWeek Poetry Tuesday day

Accepting me for me

When I drop so low and can’t go on
When I go up high and feel so low
How does it feel? I cant explain

When I try so hard and get nowhere
When the awful thoughts come creeping in
No one really understands

When I want to be fine
When I want to be heard
It’s something only we can get

When It’s not the best
When it’s not the worst
It’s still with me at every step

When you take my joy
When you take my fun
I change my thoughts and carry on

Accepting me for me


Change the World – DBlog Week

This will be my first year particpating in #DBlogWeek,  I am a little apprehensive. What can I contribute to this big online world of witty, charming, smart and funny dblogs? This seems to be a recurring theme in my life. After 30 years with Diabetes and so many lessons and accomplishments along the way, I still have this sense of not being good enough. I wonder if this is because I grew up being different, never having good enough blood sugars, and being told about all the things I couldn’t do and would never do? 

I’ve heard it said that FEAR can either stand for Face Everything And Recover or Forget Everything and Run. I used to do the latter a lot. Today, however, that’s not how I roll. So here I am, contributing despite what my inner critic tells me and although we can never “recover” from T1D, we can try our best to focus on the blessings in our life. Like the DOC for example. This community has made me feel part of something bigger than myself and picks me up when I’m feeling down. Just like D camp did for me when I was 8 years old. Last night I found a box of keepsakes that my mom saved for me and in there was my certicficate from Camp Huronda for my first self-injection () and also my kindergarten report card from June 1985, 7 months after being diagnosed.

It reads:
“Cori-Ann, you have not let your illness hold you back. You have made a fine effort this year. I’ll miss your cheerful ways. ” (before that it also says that I enjoyed my part in the rhythm band and had a good sense of beat. And that I worked hard in the gym… lol). 

So on that note, I’d like to say that if I could change the world, yes I’d obviously cure Diabetes. But since that’s not available at this time, I would ask that we all stay cheerful and and not let Diabetes hold us back from anything in life, that we keep dancing to our own beat and work hard at the gym (WITH NO LOWS!!).

 report card






So I haven’t blogged in a year or so… whoops! But I am really feeling like I want to connect with my diabetes people these days.
12 days ago I started the #100happydays social media challenge on my facebook page. I’m loving it. I really do try to look at all the blessings I have in life so this was a good fit for me. Even on those days when my bgs are like a roller coaster, I am emotional from a spike, or just feel like throwing my pump off my balcony, there is always something to be happy about!
This morning I came up with the idea to do a #100happydaysdiabetes challenge for the Diabetes Online Community. Can I actually find things about diabetes to be happy about for 100 days in a row??
As I ask myself this questions – all the negative, sad thoughts I have around D just came crashing in! Ughhh!
But I think I can do this!
Not that I have any readers right now (other than my mom and sister-in-law, who aren’t on social media) but if you do happen to stumble across this post – and want to join me – please do! I would love to see what you have to share!
I’ll be posting the pics for the challenge on twitter ==>> @coriannh

Day 1 goes to making some great friends through the power of social media, the DOC (and words with friends) Me and Joanne at Disneyland last year!


Broken Pumps, Planning for Vacations and Tweet Chats

DC Detox update: Minus my five day trip to visit my bestie in Nashville, I have successfully broken the daily DC habit. I am no longer drinking one every night at home. I will always save DC as a treat that I have when I go out with friends and on vacation (hey I don’t drink alcohol so for now, I am reserving a place for DC in my life – just not an addiction to it!)

Broken Pump: Sunday night after eating a 1/2 cup of whole wheat pasta I grabbed my pump off my hip and robotically pressed the buttons to bolus for my carbs. The screen froze on the enter BG screen. I pressed the buttons repeatedly, waited, pressed, waited pressed. Removed battery, put battery back in…. BUTTON ERROR! Removed and replaced battery a few more times and.. surrendered. Called 1-800- MiniMed.”We are going to have to go ahead and send you a new pump ma’am”, the nice man at MiniMed tells me. “Ok, sounds good!” I reply. Then I head to my supply cupboard and dust off a syringe and whine to my husband that I have to give a needle and do you know how much I hate giving needles!! I’m sure this sounded kind of weird coming from a person who has been getting needles for most of her life. This was at 7:00 pm. My pump arrived at 9:00 pm! That’s pretty amazing service don’t you think? And although it happened at a bad time after eating a bowl of pasta (this is another reason to bolus before eating, but at least I got to enjoy my meal instead of knowing before and perhaps trading it in for a carbless dinner). Also, I had just returned from Nashville the previous Tuesday and am heading to Mexico this Sunday, so really, I am pretty impressed with my old pump’s timing and consideration for my stress level, that it broke at a pretty good time. That being said, I should probably take Medtronic up on the loaner pump offer for my trip to Mexico in case this one does decide to take a swim in the ocean or have a button error. Leading to my next point…

Planning for Vacations: Spontaneity does not really exist when travelling outside of the country with Type 1. However, I do have a pretty good routine set up now and a huge safety net, knowing that MiniMed is worldwide and hopefully could get a pump to me. The CDA also provides a great checklist on their website www.diabetes.ca/diabetes-and-you/living/guidelines/travel/. I am also travelling to Mexico with my husband, my mom and my brother’s family (including my 3 yr old neice who is also a T1). So between my travelling drugstore of antibiotics, pain releivers, nausea meds, extra supplies, extra bg monitors, extra batteries and so on, and my sister-in-laws AND my mom being there too. I am positive we will be covered. I am really looking forward to this vacation. It has been an extremely busy year and time with my hubby and family has been a little thinner than I’m used to!

And last but certainly not least: Tweet chats!!! Last night I opened up Twitter to tweet a pic of my 5.5 pre-dinner BG and I stumbled upon the canDOC tweet chat! It was pretty exciting for me because I have always just missed these in the past or been a lurker on other ones. Being that this one was with my fellow Canadian PWDs and it had just started, I thought I’d jump in! It was a very cool experience. The topic was “Stubborness”. Something we can all relate to. The Nigeria DOC and the Great Britain DOC joined in the chat too! Connecting with the DOC from around the world is a very cool feeling!  So after a Sunday evening of higher BG’s due to broken pump syndrome, Monday was an excellent day. I had in range BG’s, a 5.5, I connected with the DOC and to top it all off…. I won the #BGBINGO contest!!!
This is life with Diabetes, one day can be completely awful, and the next can be rainbows and unicorns!! Here’s to many more Rainbows and Unicorns!

Hasta Luego





DC Detox

Today is Day 4 without Diet Coke (DC) in my life. I feel bad mentioning the brand name, because as a diet cola drinker, I defended, praise and bragged about my diet cola of choice. It is the best tasting on the market if you ask me. However, there is just too much information out there today (most of it from my friend Amanda – who has turned into probably the healthiest person I know and will probably live to 200 and my mom who has started the war on aspartame back in the 90’s before it was trendy) about the negative effects of this bevy.

I cannot remember my first drink. It was probably at the hockey arena, where most of my childhood was spent hanging out with the other hockey sisters, or maybe it was at a birthday party when my friend’s mom wanted to make sure I had something to drink too. Either way, it gradually started to creep into my life. Back in the 80’s and 90’s, I guess drinking this brown fizzy liquid from a can was considered healthy. Wow, the power of advertising!

I am pretty sure as an adolescent that I was not addicted to DC. I remember drinking other things too – like Diet Sprite and Diet Gingerale. I guess bottled water hadn’t been invented yet (hard to imagine). I think it was in my twenties that I really became exclusive with DC. It was the perfect mix, the perfect popcorn companion, the perfect end to a busy day at the office, etc etc etc. I don’t want to glorify DC but as a PWD, this was MY treat! In my mid twenties, I decided to cut out alcohol (I just felt that it was not a healthy choice for my overall health and well-being), and soon after that I also quit smoking (which is the worst thing anyone can do for themselves and even more so for a T1.) Yes, I was a little rebellious back in the day. Anyway, my point is, the reason I hung onto to DC for so long is because “It was the only thing I had left.” That was my reason. I loved it. I still do.
Another justification for not ditching DC was “I only drink 1 a day”. Not including weekends.

There has been a lot of media lately around diet drinks and how they prevent weight loss. I work out 3-5 times per week and eat a very healthy diet. So I decided it is time. I have been talking about quitting for a few years now and the list of reasons why I should became longer than my list of reasons to keep drinking it. Here is my list:
1. aspartame is the new smoking (there could be a another list under this reason)
2. prevents weight loss
3. bad for teeth
4. causes water retention
5. bad for skin
6. causes hyperactivity
7. so that my friend Amanda will stop sending me emails about how I am poisoning myself
8. and because anything that I HAVE TO HAVE, and will send my Hubby to the store for an emergency DC run if we run out of, is not good. I do not want anything to have that kind of control over me!

So far it has not been as hard as I thought it would be. I had a headache for the first 2 days but it seems to have passed now. I purchased grapefruit flavoured Perrier, to replace the physical habit and have been enjoying Greens+ everyday (which was an acquired taste). Coincidentally, on Monday I started a free 21 day meditation online and the theme of the course is “Perfect Health”. Day 1’s focus and centering thought was “I commit to living perfect health”. How perfect was that for my second day into my DC free life?

I am sure there are many T1’s in my shoes which is why I wanted to share this post. I hope that one day, when I actually get some fellow PWD followers (not that I don’t love my current fan base – xo ) that I can inspire them to kick the habit too! And a big thank you to my mom and Amanda for encouraging me to say goodbye to DC.